Response is in my control, reactions are not.

What is a response?

An act of responding to something which has already been initiated. For example: replying to an email from the interviewer to fix a date and time for an interview at mutual availability. This act of response involves another person. There is a sender and receiver in this two-way communication.

A response happens after an event or act has happened, this act may or may not involve people in it. For example, it starts raining so I keep all my clothes indoors to prevent them from getting wet again after leaving them out to dry. This response does not involve people but it does involve weather in nature.

What is a reaction?

A reaction is also a response to something, with an emotion attached. For example, I decide to visit India for a holiday. Now, there is excitement amongst friends and relatives. This excitement is also a response in the form of an emotion. This emotion is in addition to the verbal or written response of relatives and friends. When it comes to reactions, it is also important to observe the tone of the other person while conversing and this tells a lot. It is not just the words but also the way (tone) in which they are delivered. Hence, the reaction is a more complex form of response.

Response Vs Reactions

The difference between a response and a reaction is quite simple. A reaction is impulsive in nature, and a response is more mindful and thoughtful with appropriate reasoning. A reaction is not very thoughtful about the final result while a response is thoughtful of the result. The intention of response is given to produce a tangible result. A reaction might generate a positive or negative result without much intention.

For example, in the case of the interviewer, my response is mindful where I pick a date and time and inform the interviewer knowing that the end result is to schedule the interview when both parties are 100% sure of their availability respectively.

Then, in the case of informing relatives and friends about a trip to India, the reactions received can be positive, negative or even indifferent in some cases. The intent of these people is not to produce any tangible result, it is just a good or bad reaction, direct or indirectly expressed emotions through words and/or tone.

What is in my control & what is beyond my control?

I can only control my response to people, events and life. Reactions of other people are most of the time not in my control. The reason is that people react as per their convenience and feelings. Sometimes this might align with mine and sometimes it may not. There is no guarantee but I must make sure that my decision is not too influenced by others´ reactions although from time to time it may happen that I agree with another person's reaction and find it valuable to change a decision.

For example, I decide to travel on 31st December but a friend wants to celebrate new year´s eve together. In this case, the friend´s reaction will not be positive to my absence but if it really means a lot to me then I might consider changing the travel dates if I want to or if I am ready to face the consequences of modifying my decision such as expensive fares or undesirable date.

To conclude, I must focus on my response more than the reactions of people around me.

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